we as a society need to start talking about abusive friendships, bc those exist and seem to be really common
and most people in them dont know how do deal w the abuse bc its normally emotional abuse which gets delegitimized, and its a platonic relationship and not a romo or sexual one, so it gets delegitimized for that too
Please, world, can we have this. Because so many people I know have or are in abusive friendships and it’s fucking awful as hell.
If you speak to your friend about what makes you uncomfortable and they turn it around and make it about you offending them with you being uncomfortable, they are emotionally manipulating you.
If you speak to your friend about things you like and they turn it around and ask you why you’re liking these things that they don’t like, they are emotionally manipulating you.
If you speak to your friend about how you find some of their behavior upsetting or frustrating and they continually brush you off with explanations of ‘undiagnosed’ difficulties they are emotionally manipulating you.
If you speak to your friend about going somewhere or seeing something and they agree, and then bring up concerns you already addressed or objections about how it’s very inconvenient for them and then treat it like a big deal when they finally are convinced, they are emotionally manipulating you.
If you speak to your friend about some real and pressing issues you have to face right now and their response is to bring up something you did earlier that year that upset them they are emotionally manipulating you.
If they are emotionally manipulating you they are not your friend and you get out of it as soon as possible. No matter how reasonable they seem, if they are persistently making you uncomfortable— if you feel you have to walk on eggshells around them— if you get into every meeting up with them girding yourself so you can ‘handle’ them— there is something wrong and you should go.